The Contest that started it all…..

Lately, I have been considering this fact: Would I be able to really make a story out of the premise of the little tale I came up with, for the……..  Pix N Pens contest, that got me Miralee Ferrell’s – “Love Finds You in Last Chance, California.”

On Fri, Jan 30, 2009 at 11:56 AM, Cleda Edson wrote:
Just found out about this contest earlier today…. this is my first attempt, no there was that time I entered a short story in a Harlequin Contest about 1976, but I never heard one way or the other on that endeavor…. didn’t save a copy of my story and don’t know what ever become of it… I wrote a poem in Junior High, my first born son a lullaby and the poem song The Image I have posted on my ShoutLife page are the only attempts at writing… of course I blog some personal, but mostly copy and paste…..

Any way, back to the question…. I asked myself this, and decided if I am going to do any writing, I need to start putting things in my own words, (prayerfully the LORD’s words through me) no more copying and pasting….

What do you think? Do I have a chance? Surely my life time (well at least since the age I learned to read) love of reading should be of some help…..

Have I improved any since writing this for the contest almost 2 years ago? The first is the original posting followed by my today’s edited version…..

I think this was suppose to be something historical, using 250 words, including the words cougar, stampede and britches…. So I felt like I had to tell the whole story in these few words.

It was said that Cougar Dennison came into this world screaming with the same sound and intensity of the sandy wind blowing outside the cabin door that blustery March night, 18 years ago, that of a she cat ready to pounce. She had been living up to the name everyday since, in looks and temperament, and Brody was just about ready to take a switch to the seat of his sister’s riding britches. Instead he took a deep breath, stepped back and sat down. As he watched Cougar, in the midst of the stampede of people hired to set up for her birthday party, he let his mind go back to that night. The night he became, at the age of 10, mother to that screaming bundle of energy. Not only was he present for her entrance, but also for the departure of his precious mother. With both grandmothers gone and both of his parents being only children, having met on the wagon train coming west, and Cougar being the first female born in 4 generations, that only left one little boy to provide the majority of the childcare. Thank GOD for good neighbors, ones with a love for GOD and a talent for passing that love and their childcare knowledge on to others. Sarah Jenkins was like a second mother to them both, but she had her own brood of 10 to look after and of course Pop had to keep the farm going. Considering all the wonders, joys and heartaches and blessings covering the paste 18 years, Cougar had the right to be a little bossy, for you only have your 18th birthday once. “Happy birthday Little Sis.”

My edited version:

It was said that Cougar Dennison came into this world screaming with the same sound and intensity of the sandy wind blowing outside the cabin door that blustery March night, 18 years ago, that of a she cat ready to pounce. She had been living up to the name everyday since. Both in looks and temperament. Brody was just about ready to take a switch to the seat of his sister’s riding britches. Instead, he took a deep breath, stepped back and sat down. As he watched Cougar, in the midst of the stampede of people hired to set up for her birthday party, he let his mind go back to that night. The night she was born he was only ten. That night he became not only brother, but also mother to that screaming bundle of energy. Not only present for her entrance, but the departure of his precious mother. She had not survived the birth.

With both grandmothers gone, and both of his parents having no brothers or sisters, (They had met on the wagon train coming west.) and with Cougar being the first female born in four generations, that only left one little boy to provide the majority of the childcare.

Thank GOD for good neighbors. Ones with a love for GOD and a talent for passing that love and their childcare knowledge on to others. Sarah Jenkins was like a second mother to both of them and their father. She had her own brood of 10 to look after and of course Pop had to keep the farm going.

Considering all the wonders, joys, heartaches and blessings over the paste eighteen years, Cougar had the right to be a little (yeah right) bossy. You only have your eighteenth birthday once. “Happy birthday Little Sis.”

I will appreciate any feedback, anyone will give me….

Sending Love, Smiles, hugs and blessings……..Enough to spread around thee world and even in your neighborhood………..

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Introducing Mom (Claire) and Pop (Brady)

Prologue -Brady and Claire

Brady Dennison was pacing around like a caged lion and was about ready to jump right out of his skin, or better yet pull every blond curl off the top of his head. Why wouldn’t they let him in? He needed to be in there. Didn’t they know that Claire was his reason for living, that he had to be where he could see and touch her.  “LORD, I do praise and thank you. I place my Little Miss in Your hands, for there is no better place for her to be, also that little one that you are sending to join our family. Just let it be over with soon.”

Sarah Jenkins was busy in the kitchen. Doc had given her a list of things that needed to be done in preparation for the birth. He had told them that it was early in Claire’s labor and that it might take a while, seeing that she had never gone through it before. The only thing that was giving him any worry was that the baby seemed a little large for Claire’s petite frame. There had been a loud cry from the bedroom, and Doc told Brady to make himself comfortable on the porch swing and let him get to work. He had hurried into the bedroom, when another loud cry was heard. The door was soundly shut in Brady’s face, and that’s when the pacing started.

The bedroom door came open and out stepped Doc. “Brady, if you don’t settle yourself down, I’m gonna have Sam lock you in the barn. Claire needs to focus on bringing this youngster into the world and not on you’re stomping around out here.”

“But, Doc,” Didn’t he know that I pray as I pace.

“Don’t you but Doc me. Get yourself out there on that porch, boy. (Only Doc would call a 29 year old man, boy.) Come on Sarah let’s get busy.”

Without another word Doc and Sarah were in the bedroom and Brady took himself outside. Brady took out his pipe and lit it, then sat on the swing. With the swaying of the swing, he let his mind go back in time. Back to the day he first set eyes on the dark haired beauty, by the name of Claire Ann Edwards.

It had been a beautiful, sunny day, with just a slight breeze. The wagon master had decided that it would be the perfect time for the families, traveling in the six wagons, to enjoy some time along the peaceful river flowing nearby. They would enjoy the rest of the day after lunch, then start out again the next morning.

Brady had decided it would be the perfect time to put a hooked grasshopper, at the end of a cane pole, into the smooth gentle water. He was strolling down to the riverbank, when he spied her. She was a sight, sitting on the bank underneath a cottonwood tree, with her head stuck in a book. Her long black hair flowing gently over her shoulders. She was oblivious of the world around her. That is except for the cane pole stuck in the ground beside her, with it’s own hooked grasshopper, dangling in the water.

“Brady, get in here, boy, and meet your son. You need to help Claire give him a name.”

Startled out of his day dream Brady was by his wife’s side in a flash.

He heard a tired, quiet voice say, “Oh, Brady, isn’t he just beautiful? Can’t we call him, Brady Jr.?”

“Now Claire hon, I want him to have his own name. What do say we change the A to an O and call him Brody?”

“Well I guess that’s as close to Brady as I’m gonna’ get, and it does make a good name.”

Brady knelt beside his wife’s bed and took the baby into his own hands. He lifted the precious bundle toward Heaven and said in a reverent and awed voice, “LORD, I lift this noisy little bundle of joy before your throne. One that you’ve so freely lent us to take care of. His mother and I dedicate him to You, and commit ourselves to guiding him, with the help of Your Holy Spirit, toward the plan that You have for his life.”

“Amen,” came from Doc and Sarah who were standing close by, with bowed heads.

Sarah said in a quiet voice, “That’s a fine name. I’ll be back later to check on things, after I’ve had a chance to see after my brood, and give the news to Jackson and the kids.”

Doc added, “I’ll need to be going too, have to check on Hazel, she’s just about due herself. Can I have a moment with you on the porch, Brady?”

“Sure, Doc,” Brady said as he handed the baby to Claire and said, “See you two in a minute, Sweetheart.”

When they got to the porch, Doc turned and faced Brady, “Son, Claire is doing fine right now, but she did loose a lot of blood, giving birth to that big boy. She is young and strong, and there wasn’t a problem with getting the bleeding stopped. I know there won’t be any problem with your keeping an eye on her, for I know you won’t let her out of your sight for a while. Just pray with GOD’s blessing the next one takes after Claire, and is a petite little blond beauty. Looks like Brody takes after you, except for his black hair. There shouldn’t be any problems with having more children.”

Chapter One will start with Cougar’s eighteenth birthday party, ending with Brody saying, “Happy birthday Little Sis.”

Chapter two will start with the night of Cougar’s birth.

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